The Party’s Almost Over

Turned in my final portfolio in senior seminar today. What does that mean to you? Well…no more reading my homework on my blog, for one thing!

The project was a learning experience, and not just in terms of the research I did. I had an Alfred Hitchcock moment with it on Monday. By that, I don’t mean that I was a master of suspense. Rather, I’m referring to Hitchcock’s propensity to just throw a scene or even an entire project away when it’s clearly not working. After all, why waste precious time and other resources on something that’s just not going to be any good no matter what you do?

So I did it to my own project. It was a multi-genre project, and it ended up looking nothing like the proposal I’d written. I did the formal paper part about participatory fandom. For the second genre, I was going to do a small fanzine, and for the third, I was going to do a photo essay of sorts if I had time.

Nothing came together the way I hoped or planned. So I was faced with a deadline an the prospect of turning in something I wasn’t happy with. I couldn’t do it. So I was up until 3:00 this morning creating something completely different — something I’m much happier with. I feel it does a much better job of what I intended to do — demystifying participatory fandom — than a fanzine would any way. And I should have known that even the smallest zine couldn’t be done in a month or so, at least not one that lives up to my standards.

So, I’ve learned to let go (to a point) and be okay with it.


~ by Shanna Gilkeson on April 18, 2013.

2 Responses to “The Party’s Almost Over”

  1. I had a similar experience turning in my final project for the semester (and the final project of my undergraduate career — woo hoo!). Like yourself, I threw away the bulk of my project just to completely start over. It was something I had never done before and scared me half to death. I sobbed for an endless amount of hours because of it and still semi-regret even handing it in. However, as the semester’s end ventures closer and closer, I’m starting to realize how important it is to just accept the inevitable and everything that is out of my direct control.

  2. First of everything I have to share that I love how your personality shows in this post as it does in every class period, you’ve been a very fun classmate and the party isn’t over- you’ll take it everywhere you go, undoubtedly 😉 But I feel your pain, having struggled with this research project greatly. I how ever had the opposite experience, I liked where I was going at first with my first proposal but after my first round of comments, my first proposal was shot down. My first draft was also given quite a bit of tough love, so I went down a completely boring safe route that I’m not entirely pleased with, for my final project. So, here’s to hoping it worked out! Cannot wait to hear your new topic in presentations tomorrow! It’s great that you sound so pleased with it!

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